***Review*** Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen

On the Back of the Book

My copy doesn’t say anything... so for one review only we’re going to visit Goodreads.

(Goodreads Description)

"It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife."

So begins Pride and Prejudice, Jane Austen's witty comedy of manners--one of the most popular novels of all time--that features splendidly civilized sparring between the proud Mr. Darcy and the prejudiced Elizabeth Bennet as they play out their spirited courtship in a series of eighteenth-century drawing-room intrigues. Renowned literary critic and historian George Saintsbury in 1894 declared it the "most perfect, the most characteristic, the most eminently quintessential of its author's works," and Eudora Welty in the twentieth century described it as "irresistible and as nearly flawless as any fiction could be."

Pre Read Thoughts

This is one of those books that I’ve been meaning to read for ages and never found the time to sit down and do so. So with a half finished blanket (see Wuthering Heights review) and winter fast approaching I thought I’d get an audiobook and get down to work. I’m also reading this for a favourites challenge on GR. I bought a physical copy of the book at my local RSPCA charity shop for £1.25 as I like knowing what page I’m on and the money went to help some poor, unfortunate animals. My cover is rather dull, with just a small picture of Mr Darcy on the cover. There isn’t a synopsis either which is more than a tad annoying.

Post Read Thoughts

I celebrated finishing this. I wasn’t a fan of it at all. In my opinion nothing actually happened I personally believe that I could’ve written the whole book in a sentence. Actually that sounds like a challenge, a challenge I simply must take up. So here we go, Pride and Prejudice in a sentence.

“One day Elizabeth Bennet met Mr Darcy, they hated each other for a while but eventually fell in love with one another and got married.”

Job done. I don’t get why Jane wasted so much time on it. Since she did though I should probably review it. The writing style didn’t capture my attention and even listening to it didn’t help. My attention kept wandering to the good looking chaps on my bedroom wall. I did get sick of hearing of ‘politeness’ though and if I ever hear the word ‘civility’ again I may have to hunt you down.

The characters. I have no idea what to say about them except I didn’t really like any of them. I wanted to drown them in a vat of something especially Mrs Bennet. Oh Lord! Does that woman know when to shut up? I couldn’t bear her and I was sick of hearing about her nerves. She was so two-faced and she had no idea of what her kids were feeling. Mr Bennet wasn’t much better. He spent his life in a different room because he was foolish and chose his wife because of her pretty face. They both have favourite children and that isn’t right. Surely it affected them all.

The narrator of my audiobook was okay. I liked her although her voice started to grate on me occasionally. If it wasn’t for her though, I’d still be stuck on page 88. The other major plus is that I can do other stuff at the same time. I personally like to crochet. I did mention the blanket. It’s still not finished. I’m going to need another book.

Overall I’m not fond of this book, though I know plenty of people that love it. If you want a classic love story like this then I’m actually going to suggest Wuthering Heights which has a better story. I’m not sure what would improve the story for me... maybe some zombies... now there’s an idea! I actually think that if you’re a fan of classic love stories you’ll have already read this but maybe you could revisit it and tell me what I’m missing.

My Rating

2 stars – Not my cup of tea I’m afraid. It didn’t grab me and the only reason that I managed to finish it is my audiobook. I won’t try to talk you out of reading this if you really want to but if you like some action in stories, you’ve took a wrong turning somewhere because there isn’t any here.

***Review*** Sense and Sensibility and Sea Monsters by Jane Austen & Ben H. Winters

On the Back of the Book

Sense and Sensibility and Sea Monsters expands the original text of the beloved Jane Austen novel with all-new scenes of giant lobsters, rampaging octopi, two headed sea-serpents, and other biological monstrosities. As our story opens, the Dashwood sisters are evicted from their childhood home and sent to live on a mysterious island full of savage creatures and dark secrets. While the sensible Elinor falls in love with Edward Ferrars, her romantic sister Marianne is courted by both the handsome Willoughby and the hideous man-monster Colonel Brandon. Can the Dashwood sisters triumph over meddlesome-matriarchs and unscrupulous rogues to find true love? Or will they fall prey to the tentacles that are forever snapping at their heels? This masterful portrait of Regency England blends Jane Austen's biting social commentary with ultraviolent depictions of sea monsters biting. It's survival of the fittest -- and only the swifest swimmers will find true love!

Pre Read Thoughts

I approach this book with caution. The last mash up of a Jane Austen book I read, didn't really work for me. I found it to be forced and not at all amusing. I'm hoping that this book does better because once again the idea is sound. The price is in dollars... again, so I don't know how much I paid for it. The cover is hideous, tentacled men aren't exactly known for their dashing good looks though are they? Now a random note before I start to read this book. I'll explain it as I go so don't worry. Before I read a book I hand it to my cat and normally he'll give it a sniff, and rub his face on it but he refuses to look at this book. The last time he did that I hated the books. Maybe he's trying to tell me something...

Post Read Thoughts

I guess the question is: Where do I start? Do I start with my declaration? No I think I'll end it there. Or  maybe I should start with details? Nah, they'll follow in a moment. I'm going to start with Mystic Mischief the psychic cat. If you read my pre read thoughts section you'll know he refused to look at the book. Well his premonition turned out to be correct. I really wish I'd listened to him. This book is diabolical, every momemt I spent with it is a moment I'll sadly never get back.  It has all the same issues as Pride and Prejudice and Zombies but they're worse in this one! How is that even possible? I thought the humour was forced, the writing boring and it's essentially two books forced into one and that just doesn't work for me.

The characters were dull and unispiring. There was no substance to them and I found myself wanting to fall asleep. They didn't really work with the situations that they were placed in. The word caricature kept coming to mind throughout the stories. (There were two stories.) I was also disappointed by the sea monsters, they didn't eat everyone and that's what I wanted them to do. It would have ended my torture quicker.

I think that by now you can tell that I hate the book and I genuinely can't think of a nice thing to say about it. I'm a quick reader, I pride myself on this, it means I can post multiple reviews a week without holding any back, but this one book has taken me nearly 2 weeks to finish. I'm now way behind my monthly reading target. As I said, I wasn't amused by one thing in the book, I can't take even the smallest amount of enjoyment from it. Reading this was a genuine chore. My overall opinion is low, so low in fact I will now make that declaration I told you about earlier: This is the worst book I have ever had the unfortunacy to read in my life... and I've read a lot of books.

My Rating

1 star - To be honest it doesn't even deserve that but I had to give it something. Now what shall I do with the book? I can't give it away because someone might then read it and that's the last thing I want. I could burn it I suppose but then the smoke would make it difficult for to breathe for about a year (in real time terms this is about an hour). I shall have to hide it in a box. I implore you, don't buy this book, don't even borrow it. Just walk away from it. Trust me.

***Review*** Pride and Prejudice and Zombies by Jane Austen & Seth Grahame-Smith

On the Back of the Book

"It is a truth universally acknowledged that a zombie in possession of brains must be in want of more brains."

So begins Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, an expanded edition of the beloved Jane Austen novel featuring all-new scenes of bone-crunching zombie mayhem. As our story opens, a mysterious plague has fallen upon the quiet English village of Meryton --- and the dead are returning to life! Feisty heroine Elizabeth Bennet is determined to wipe out the zombie menace, but she's soon distracted by the arrival of the haughty and arrogant Mr Darcy. What ensues is a delightful comedy of manners with plenty of civilised sparring between two young lovers - and even more violent sparring on the blood-soaked battlefield. Can Elizabeth vanquish the spawn of Satan? And overcome the social prejudices of the class-conscious landed gentry? Complete with romance, heartbreak, swordfights, cannibalism and thousands of rotting corpses, Pride and Prejudice and Zombies transforms a masterpiece of world literature into something you'd actually want to read.

Pre Read Thoughts

Put simply this is a title book. I stopped dead in my tracks when I saw it sitting there on a shelf in WHSmith. I picked it up and read the synopsis, I was instantly intrigued as to how the two worlds would mix. I wanted to see what had been done to Pride and Prejudice (which is sitting on my TBR pile). According to my copy of Pride and Prejudice and Zombies I paid $12.95 unfortunately I live on an island known as the UK and over here we use the pound not the dollar so I have no idea how much that is. So after some research on Amazon I have discovered that the UK RRP is £8.99 so I'm going to assume I paid something like that for it. Saying that, if I did pay £8.99 for it then it's £1 more than the average adult paperback. I'm not impressed. If I'm honest the cover freaks me out more than a little, I really don't like it. I'm going to try to avoid looking at it as I read the book.

Post Read Thoughts

I had high hopes for this book and in a way maybe that was this book's downfall, I just wanted too much from it. I felt that the author was trying to hard to make the zombie parts amusing when in fact the joke got old... fast. The story really dragged and it was a struggle to stay awake, never mind actually focusing on the actual story. I'm not sure how much of this is Jane Austen and how much is Seth Grahame-Smith so I can't comment on the quality of the writing.

The characters felt dull and lifeless, like they were forced into being something they weren't. Though I suppose this is exactly what's happened. The zombies were a complete and utter farce, I didn't like the way that they were portrayed and they just felt like an unnecessary sidenote to the story instead of the integral part they could have been.

Overall this book has so much unrealised potential, unless it's the author's intention to make me grab my copy of the original book and find out what it's all about. What I want to know is if the failings of the book are the fault of Austen or some fool who thought they'd cash in on the undead phase that as readers we seem to be lapping up right now. I found no enjoyment on the majority of these pages although there were some moments of genius, the end in particular was pretty good. It captured my attention nicely. Another thing I enjoyed were the illustrations. I love a good picture in a book.

My Rating

2 stars - This book is average at best. The premise is really good as I've mentioned previously and my only regret is that it wasn't carried out as I would have liked it. Maybe moving away from the original plot could have given Mr Grahame-Smith some artistic freedom. I don't recommend this.

A Final Note

There's a bit of bad language but it isn't used in the way that we use it today. Also there's a bit of gruesomeness so not one for people of a sensitive disposition.